Posts Tagged ‘Resentment’

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Releasing Resentment Through L.O.V.E….

May 24, 2012

The long-term effects of resentment are insidious and deadly.  One who is persistently resentful is displaying a pattern of sinful un-repentance and willful disregard for God’s grace.  Resentment rarely stays confined to one person.  You can walk into any office, or even any church and if there is great resentment in even one individual slowly the effects spread to others until the feeling is palpable.  The writer in Hebrews had this in view when he wrote that the church was to “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;” Hebrews 12:15 This “root of bitterness” maybe many things, but a definite fruit of bitterness is resentment, and if left uncheck it will defile many.

We are at all times as God’s children to display God’s love.  And Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”  A resentful heart, left in an unrepentant condition fails to reflect the love of God.

Ultimately, resentment can kill.  If left un-treated, and un-checked it will weaken us until we break.  And if we ontinue throughout our lives to harbor resentment then one could rightly question whether or not we have truly experienced the graceof God through salvation.  The Gospel has the power to overcome ALL that we deal with, and it has the power to break the bonds of hate and resentment that trap our minds in the past and steal our joy.  As Paul says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2  The gospel not only rights our relationship with God, it radically transforms our very being so that our minds are free to discern rightly what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Releasing Resentment through LOVE…

Like depression and other emotional stress, bitterness and resentment can aggravate or cause physical problems such as arthritis. You can be affected mentally, spiritually and otherwise. Your relationships will always suffer.

God can free you from this sin. It is an oppressive and destructive emotion having its root in hate, which is likened to murder. You must repent. No one can have peace and happiness with such emotions tearing at him. If you have not done so, ask God to forgive you and to come into your life right now. He will deliver you from the power of the enemy (Psalm 91:3).

If you are already a Christian, you should still ask God to forgive you for being bitter and resentful. Then ask Him to forgive anyone who may have hurt you, and toward whom you are bitter or resentful, even as He forgives you.

Look for opportunities to demonstrate love to the person who offended you.

God forgives and forgets sin. However, you may have made your best effort to forgive and forget and find that you cannot. God can help you to cleanse your memory. Instead of remembering with malice and hurt, remember with forgiveness. Then go one step further and ask God to forgive your offender. By forgiving and then asking God to forgive your offender, you release God to bless you and the other person.[1]

It is important to display God’s L.O.V.E. to others, if we do this it is difficult to build up resentment and be paralyzed by anger.

First, Leave your comfort zone.  Jesus called the disciples away from what was familiar and towards a life of sacrifice and love.  “Take up your cross, and follow me.” We face the same call, to leave our comfort zones, what is familiar and embark on the mission God has for us.

Second, Orient yourself to serve.  Jesus called the disciples to act, but he also called them to serve, to serve one another, and the communities they lived in by proclaiming the gospel.  Jesus washed their feet, and afterwards told them in John 13 ‘“If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15“For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you. 16“Truly, truly, I say to you, a slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him. 17“If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.”  It is not enough to just receive, we must also give, and we are “blessed” when we do so with delight.  We are never more like Christ than when we humble ourselves to serve those around us.

Third, we must Venture out.  The disciples and the early church did not just stay in the upper room.  They did not just hang out in Jerusalem.  Rather Jesus called them to go into the whole world preaching the gospel, making disciples and baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.  And they did this in a progression, look at Acts 1:8, first to Jerusalem (their hometown so to speak), then to Judea and Samaria (their states and regions) then to the uttermost parts of the earth.  Loving your neighbor, is implied in sharing the gospel, for what greater gift do you have than the testimony of one who gave so much that all might have eternal life.  Love should start in our homes, then our neighborhoods, then out cities, states, nation and the world.

Finally Encourage those around us.  This is not just a simple high-five, great game kind of encouragement.  This is an encouragement toward godliness and holiness.  When you think about when you first came to Christ, do you remember when you messed up, when you failed, when you fell short and became discouraged?  How great was it to have neighbors, and brothers and sisters in Christ there to encourage you.  God receives glory when we bear much fruit, and our fruit in the spirit is; “LOVE…joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, ” against these things there is no law.(Gal 5:22-24)  It is when we love one another and bear fruit that we prove that we are in Christ and are His disciples. (John15:8)   The greatest source of emotional security for the believer, is a fruitful life lived in the spirit, acting in love toward each other.  Leaving our comfort zone, Orienting ourselves for service, Venturing out, and Encouraging those around us in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Your neighbor is in need, will you go? Will you serve? Will you encourage? If you allow these things to reign in your heart, you surely will be like a tree amidst your neighborhood, bearing much fruit, fruit that lasts, prospering in what ever you do. (Ps.1:3)

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Recognizing Resentment…

May 22, 2012

 

 

We have examined over the past several weeks the struggles of doubt, jealousy, anger and complacency.  Each one of those traits and struggles is fundamentally sourced in human pride and sinfulness.  And with each we have examined the individual ways and strategies to combat their ill-effects.  But what happens when those ill-effects linger?  What happens if we fail to combat anger with the love and mercy of God?  What effects occur when we fail to cast our eyes on Christ and overcome doubt?  What happens to our relationships when we fail to repent of our jealousy and rightly give glory to God for all He has given us and others? The answer to these questions is resentment.  Resentment is not a core condition, it is not a primary residence for feeling, rather resentment is the effect of the on-going presence of anger, jealousy, envy, doubt and pride.

Resentment is best described as being like rust.  We can drive over a bridge, or pass an old car and see the tell-tale signs of decay and destruction.  Rust weakens structures through the slow and deliberate reactionary process of decay.  But rust is not the primary cause of the weakness.  Rust is the after effect of a process called oxidation.  When iron metal is exposed to air (oxygen) and water the molecules begin to slowly decay.  The effect of this decay is rust.  If left untreated, rust will weaken the strongest structures and turn what was once dependable and sure into something that may appear strong but in fact is frail.  This is like resentment.  Resentment is a slow process, that begins with weaknesses inherent in the structure of our make up as sinful humans.  Without proper care and precaution, we harbor hatred and anger, un-forgiveness and jealousy and soon this creates resentment.  Slowly, perhaps in ways not obvious to others, we begin to corrode and decay, we become weak and ultimately unstable.

God has given us our emotions for His Glory; our memory for His Glory; our energy for His Glory, but resentment pollutes and perverts all of these gifts.  Resentment turns our emotions against us, as we take our eyes off of God and place them on others.  When we rightly place our gaze on God, we relate all occurrences to His mercy and grace; to the point that whenever something good happens to someone else we feel good and rejoice in what God has done for them.  But resentment occurs when we take our eyes off of God and look at other people, comparing our lives to theirs absent the perspective of God’s sovereignty.  We begin to be jealous of them, we’re envious and this slowly begins to produce within us resentment.

God has given us memory to recall His past glory and to shore up our future hope.  How glorious is one’s memory when it is rightly reflecting on what God has done.  But resentment molds our memories and steals our joy and hope.  Its like an overdeveloped photograph, you can see faint details of the event captured, but the overall picture of the past is overwhelmed by this tinge of haze that crowds out the details of the picture.  Resentment colors events and crowds out the good details of the past and overemphasizes the negative ones.  We can see this so clearly in the Exodus narrative.  The Israelites are delivered from 400 years of slavery and bondage and once in the wilderness slowly begin to resent, well, everything.  The resent God, feeling as though He delivered them out to die in the wilderness.  They resent Moses because He is the only one who has communion with God.  And their memories are polluted by this resentment to the point that they begin to wish for their old life in Egypt.  This is why so often in the Psalms and in the Prophets the writers admonish the people of Israel to remember the works of the Lord!  Remember His goodness, do not be caught up in resentment; this gives us hope when we remember His love and care for us.

God has given us Energy for His glory, and by energy I mean the desire to be active and work for God.  God has given each and every one of us a task, no matter where we are in life to proclaim the gospel! We are to have an outward direction to our energies as we “go into all the nations…” baptizing and teaching, proclaiming the “marvelous excellencies of the One who called us out of darkness and into His marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:8)  But resentment redirects our energy.  Instead of pouring out, our energies are directed inward to ourselves.  We cease to be of any use for the kingdom as we spend so much time caught up in our own anger and envy of others.

Ultimately we may appear structurally sound, but if the sins of pride, jealousy, and anger have taken residence in our hearts, the rust of resentment begins to appear.  And if left un-addressed, overtime, it will eat away at us and we will become increasingly weak and less and less useful.

 

“Resentment is like you taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” (Anonymous)